I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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