if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
