I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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