I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
