i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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