This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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