went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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