i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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