Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
