i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
