How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
