I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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