Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
