she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
