So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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