Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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