it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
