At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
