Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
