The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
