We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
