You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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