If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
