i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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