Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
