seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
