Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
