I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
