Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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