just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
