I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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