Jerry, you need to find god
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize