I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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