You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
