Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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