then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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