He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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