i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
