I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
