i jhust puked up my retainher.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
