I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
