Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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