Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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