Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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