Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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