Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
