Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
