Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
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just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
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They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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