I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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