I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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