Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
