Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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