So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
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what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
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Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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