Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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