i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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