At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
