she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Two words: blizzard sex
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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