And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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