I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
